Tips for dealing with road rage?

[DonnieO]

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[2019Velocityblue]

Get a dash cam and report them. No physical altercation is worth it.

 

[Weyland-Yutani]

OP, another thing yo might consider is to install an in car camera. A friend of mine would do that and post the footage on FB, Youtube, etc. I can see how that would be a little therapeutic.

Road rage is one of the reasons I'm getting a dash cam, but, it's not to post videos or report jerks. It's to remind me to not do something stupid as a reaction to someone else's stupid. The only person I can control is myself.

 

[Johnnybee]

If this is what you are doing you are causing the other person to lose his shit. If faster traffic is coming just move over.

The issue I have is people tailgating me. This happens on the freeway when I'm in the slow lane and on 2 lane's. I usually run 10 over. When they tailgate me I just keep slowing down till they pass or back off. If there is a wide spot I will pull over and let them pass. You would be surprised how many people will stop in the road to keep from passing me.

There have been times on the freeway where I have slowed down to 35 before the azzhat will pass.

This has happened to me in every car or truck I've driven.

Yep, I often have people drive two car lengths behind me when I’m out on a Sunday drive in the country. I find a convenient place to pull over, put the four ways on, and let them go by. Sometimes I even wait a minute or two just to give them that lead time. Active cruise is great on the multi-lanes. Set it at about 10 mph over the limit and sit in the right lane.

 

[twbthird]

A couple of thoughts.

First, someone upthread suggested a Miata. This may not help, my previous cars included a Miata and a Honda S2000. Other drivers do not give these small roadsters space, indeed one of the reasons I am now in a Mustang is that my partner was not comfortable in traffic in the S2000.

Second, I applaud the OP and anyone else that recognized they may have a problem and are in therapy for it. I would also recommend a through physical, as there are medical issues that can contribute to emotional disturbances.

 

[codemanstang]

Slowly count to ten before responding. I know this sounds dumb. But it works.

 

[N17]

Lol. this is the same guy that started a thread “ tips on how to control yourself when people are trying to race you”

In his fantasy world everyone is out to get him. No amount of Therapy or advise can fix dumb ass.

 

[UrbanAlaska]

Therapist here. One thing to educate yourself on is the fundamental attribution error. In a nutshell, it's a natural human bias that makes us believe things like this:

"When I cut someone off, it's because I'm running late to an important meeting. When someone cuts me off, it's because they're an incompetent driver." Or: "When I do something bad, it is due to circumstance. When someone else does something bad, it is due to their nature."

Once you notice that pattern, you can start to consciously give people the same benefit of the doubt that you probably give yourself:

"That person cut me off, but maybe they're running late to an important doctor's appointment. I forgive them." Or even just: "They're probably having a bad day. It happens."

Something to try! Deep breathing is also a cheesy strategy to some people, but the science says it works. In through the nose, out through the mouth.

 

[Oakley]

I get pretty bad road rage when I'm in my stang and people mess with me like cut me off or speed up by me and merge inches in front of me without signaling and one time I had this idiot kid in a civic try to play "chicken" with me by coming in my lane and driving head on at me!

I've gotten so pissed off sometimes I lost control of myself and tried to chase them down.

In general I've had a lot of problems with emotional control and regulation and impulse control, but I've been working on that. Practicing Stoicism to not let my thoughts and feelings and idiots affect my actions.

What do you guys recommend? And yes I do see a therapist

you need to get in a fight and lose. that'll help with impulse control.
lack of emotional stability is immaturity and weakness.

 

[IPOGT]

I try to think about future consequences when I get upset. There are people out there who carry guns with them and who knows what they might do if you start a fight? And it's against the law to attack or threaten someone in any way, no matter the provocation. Ending up in jail, losing your job, etc. would ruin your day a lot more than having someone change into your lane without signalling.

And I try to humanize the other person. Just pretend it's your mother in the other car. She made a mistake, but of course you will forgive her easily.

One important lesson I’ve learned from dealing with the public that you really never know what someone else is going through. I think about that before I react to anything.

 

[RacingRoger]

Dear Zent,
First off, kudos for your courage admitting you have a problem. Bigger kudos for asking for help.
Shame on those who tear you down on this forum -- you folks don't have enough evidence of what Zent actually does to come on so strong. For instance, there's no evidence given that Zent has been a "Left Lane Bandit." He's admitted to road raging, but was it instigated by him or a reaction after the fact? He doesn't say, and nobody asked. Best to reserve comment until you get more facts (maybe actually ask direct questions of Zent instead of conjuring up the remaining 90% in your heads?)
Alot of good suggestions so far, so this is what works for me:
Decide beforehand what you're going to do when an incident occurs. Having a few scenarios preselected in your mind can help you. It certainly helps me, as I react horribly in situations where I'm caught off guard...
I choose flight over fight -- not worth destroying my car (or others), hurting myself and family (or others), and there's just enough crazy folk out there odds are good they will respond to any aggression in a most unimaginable way, with weapons you didn't realize they had.
I recommend keeping up with the therapy and continue seeking to improve yourself. As your fellow traffic companion, I thank you!!!

 

[K4fxd]

Left lane bandits..... I'm not proud of this, but this is what I did one time many years ago.

I caught a line of traffic going 5 or more Mph below the speed limit. Both lanes were jammed up. I saw on a hill about 3/4 of a mile ahead a red car next to a semi. I figured he would pass and the traffic jam would go away. 5 miles later and me weaving through traffic I found myself behind the slow car. I hit my headlights horn ect. He did nothing just kept matching the speed of the truck. After about another 3 or 4 miles I slipped behind the truck and passed him on the shoulder. When I got in-front of him I swerved into the left lane and slammed on my brakes. At that point I was so pissed I didn't care if he hit me or not, he didn't and no one else wrecked either, thank god. This was my (so far) one and only incident of road rage.

I have no idea if he got the message or not. Normally I'm a pretty calm guy but this time I lost it.

The 2 things in this world that get under my skin is blocking traffic and tailgaters. Tailgaters I slow down till they pass and or pull over if I can.

 

[NightmareMoon]

I drive pretty fast. The people who want to go faster than me are more than welcome to be my rabbit and run ahead to draw the speeding ticket. Thank you for your sacrifice, little rabbit.

in dense traffic, if someone merges closely ahead, so be it, its never personal, its just traffic. Traffic sucks. Listen to a podcast or something.

Miatas drivers have it much worse. People don’t even see those little cars half the time. I drove a black miata years ago and always thought people were cutting me off. I switched to a yellow miata later and learned, no, they just didnt see me, cause the yellow car was let in to merge way more often and was cut off less often. It was an enlightening nigh-and-day difference. My miata days are over.

With the black mustang, people really should let me past in the fast lane when we’re all held up by a slower driver ahead. I find traffic will move over more often for a black darth vader looking muscle car than for your randomsilver honda. Let me be the bad guy, I’m at least dressed for it. Those slow drivers that don’t move over are probably just innocently clueless, so I go around them. You cant teach anyone else any lessons on the road, so quit trying.

 

[2016S550]

A couple of thoughts.

First, someone upthread suggested a Miata. This may not help, my previous cars included a Miata and a Honda S2000. Other drivers do not give these small roadsters space, indeed one of the reasons I am now in a Mustang is that my partner was not comfortable in traffic in the S2000.

Second, I applaud the OP and anyone else that recognized they may have a problem and are in therapy for it. I would also recommend a through physical, as there are medical issues that can contribute to emotional disturbances.

I found the same to be true with my previous Miata Convertible. The worst were Trucks of any sort, for whatever reason they always felt the need to get 2’ from my bumper at a red light.

In the Mustang I try to drive in the slow lane and give plenty of distance because I hate rock chips. If someone is approaching quickly just before an intersection I generally know they will be coming across my bow and start slowing to just let it happen. I rode a motorcycle 4 days a week for 13 years, I often know what someone is going to do before they do based on the conditions. It’s a survival technique for two wheels.

Its just not worth it, society has consistently moved into the direction of selfishness not selflessness and no change appears to be positive. I took a college course in the late 90s about Stress Management. Some of the recommendations here were mentioned there, just listen to some great music and give yourself extra time for the ride so there’s no urgency. A friend always told drivers on the side of the road, “failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine”.

 

[BlackandBlue]

I get pretty bad road rage when I'm in my stang and people mess with me like cut me off or speed up by me and merge inches in front of me without signaling and one time I had this idiot kid in a civic try to play "chicken" with me by coming in my lane and driving head on at me!

I've gotten so pissed off sometimes I lost control of myself and tried to chase them down.

In general I've had a lot of problems with emotional control and regulation and impulse control, but I've been working on that. Practicing Stoicism to not let my thoughts and feelings and idiots affect my actions.

What do you guys recommend? And yes I do see a therapist

I once road raged pretty bad. I had an incident that made me understand I had to stop. I did. I don’t rage anymore. I get mad from time to time but when I do I slow down and get as far right as possible. It’s a punishment for allowing other to influence my behavior. No one likes being controlled. You are being controlled by others behavior.

5 things that helped me.
1. Understand you are not mad at that person. Most road rage is just stress from somewhere else in your life.
2. Understand you have no control over them. You can’t change them or make them act any different.
3. Lean back in the seat. I can tell someone’s driving style just from their positioning. Up on the steering wheel is a stress posture. Leaning back is laid back.
4. There is nothing to win. Zero. Nothing. Zilch. You can only lose.
5. Remember people are stupid and you are not. Don’t let them stupid people influence you. They are controlling you.

Once I stopped raging I don’t get tired from driving anymore. The amount of stress that driving enraged puts on your life is significant.

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