Random thoughts.......................

[lacanteen]

If you don’t own a dog whistle you can use two teenage girls who haven’t seen each other in a month.

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[lacanteen]

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

 

[lacanteen]

I have discovered a new form of exercise. It's a cross between a lunge and a crunch: It's called lunch.

 

[lacanteen]

I wish people came with a 30 second trailer so I could see what I'm getting into.

 

[lacanteen]

If women are always right, what happens when two lesbians argue?

 

[lacanteen]

Whiskey and I are a bad combination. One disappears, the other ends up naked.

 

[AceS550]

If you have thinning/receding hair lines and/or bald spots, why do you have to pay full price for hair cuts?

 

[lacanteen]

Why do medications have side affects like 'headache', 'diarrhea' or 'suicidal thoughts'? Why not 'invisibility' or 'spontaneous orgasms'?

 

[I Bleed Ford Blue]

'spontaneous orgasms'?

That's what Rosey palm and her five sisters are for

 

[lacanteen]

Snooze minutes are nowhere near as long as microwave minutes.

 

[samd1351]

If women are always right, what happens when two lesbians argue?

Posed this question to my wife's niece who is a lesbian. Waiting on a response.

 

[shogun32]

Posed this question to my wife's niece who is a lesbian. Waiting on a response.

used to play ice hockey did you? At least you have the equipment to protect yourself from the incoming beatdown...

 

[samd1351]

used to play ice hockey did you? At least you have the equipment to protect yourself from the incoming beatdown...

Actually, she's really pretty good about the lesbian jokes. She made made fun of herself for buying a Subaru Forester (apparently it's a known lesbian car, or so I've been told).

 

[lacanteen]

I seriously miss the days when I would wake up and Justin Bieber would be the most annoying thing to read in the news.

 

[lacanteen]

It's interesting how quickly 'too drunk to cook a frozen pizza' can become 'sober enough to fight a fire'.

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