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Random thoughts.......................

HoosierDaddy

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To which it will realize it's grave mistake, unwrap itself, then unplug itself from the wall ending it's own life.
No, I think Chuck wants to be cremated.
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“That’ll learn ‘em,” will be the last statement you make as you are hauled off in handcuffs to jail for taking a sledgehammer to your boss’s car; because you were upset that you were asked to refill the printer with paper, and it’s not in your job description.
 
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lacanteen

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Silly Putty implies the existence of serious putty.
 
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lacanteen

lacanteen

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Given you shouldn't 'keep your eggs in one basket', the scrotum seems like a real design oversight.
 

Sivi70980

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Sitting at my new to me desk at work and there's a clock right next to it. I'm now bombarded by the ticking every second that goes by. It's not making the morning go by any faster.
 

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Sitting at my new to me desk at work and there's a clock right next to it. I'm now bombarded by the ticking every second that goes by. It's not making the morning go by any faster.
a little double-sided tape and presto mount it on the bathroom wall.
 
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So back when I was a child the character in the photo was called a clown, but apparently this term has changed to “recreational therapist.” Anyway, the other day I went to my son’s school before heading into work and the fella was there laughing and popping balloons for the school party that day. As I headed into work, a sign at the office entrance said, “team building seminar today in lieu of lunch hour.” Well low and behold the lil’ fella was building teams by laughing and popping balloons. As I was leaving work my wife texted me a “honey do list before coming home”. Text said, “check on grandpa at the nursing home and withdraw $150 from the bank for the weekend.” I headed to nursing home and heard a lot of laughter and a loud pop! Well there that fella was in the nursing home activity room. As I finally headed to the bank, I was waiting in line to see the bank teller, and I heard such a laughter that I couldn’t help but laugh myself. It was the same fella leaving the bank. I had to stop him and ask, “hey fella why you laugh”? His response was, “I made $4,500 today for laughing and popping balloons and will be doing this all next week and the next and the next and...” When I finally got home, I cried.
 
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lacanteen

lacanteen

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I saw a very attractive woman at McDonalds spank her child for throwing his fries on the ground, so I made sure she saw me throw mine on the ground too. :)
 

Sivi70980

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I saw a very attractive woman at McDonalds spank her child for throwing his fries on the ground, so I made sure she saw me throw mine on the ground too. :)
And.....
 

shogun32

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she slowly poured the cup of (ice?) coffee into his lap. Batted her eyes and leaning forward just enough to tease a view down her blouse, said "Oh honey, is your chaperone still in the bathroom"? Before sashaying back to her table, rounded hips swaying in seductive rhythm. Meanwhile his chest rose and fell in short gasps at the pain in his groin, knuckles white with tension. His lips curled back mouthing words of silent condemnation.

edit: hmm maybe I should take up writing those "romance novels" for more income.
 
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I was at the local big box toy store last week to pick up a gift for my nephew, and some youngster bumped into me and snarled, “Word old man.” So I handed him a Scrabble board game.
 

oneheadlite

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Sitting at my new to me desk at work and there's a clock right next to it. I'm now bombarded by the ticking every second that goes by. It's not making the morning go by any faster.
HA!! ^^^THIS^^^
When I was a teenager I could sleep thru anything.
One time when I worked the third shift, a tree trimming
outfit ran a chipper outside my bedroom for 4 hours.
I NEVER even heard it!!

Now @66, the clock on the wall in the living room annoys me..........
 
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lacanteen

lacanteen

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The irony of the Dunning-Kruger effect is that most people have just read the Wikipedia entry about it and think they’re experts at spotting it in other people.
 
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lacanteen

lacanteen

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The fact they we can have 'casual sex' implies the existence of rated professional sex.
 

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Maybe the professional sex workers could have 1 to 5 star tattoos on their back. Then customers could take a sharpie and check their rating.
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