Random thoughts.......................

[lacanteen]

It is totally fair to fart while upwind of a cigarette smoker.

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[lacanteen]

People don’t want to take 2 minutes in the morning to heat up a bagel and butter it but will spend 8 minutes in line to pay someone else to do it for them then complain when it’s wrong.

 

[lacanteen]

Why do washing machines have glass doors but dishwashers don’t ??

 

[shogun32]

Life is an incurable sexually-transmitted disease.

 

[Rinzler]

Life is an incurable sexually-transmitted disease.

That's so meta...

 

[shogun32]

Can anybody actually kill Chuck Norris?

person, no. His Total Gym though will suddenly malfunction and wrap a cord around his neck.

 

[Rinzler]

person, no. His Total Gym though will suddenly malfunction and wrap a cord around his neck.

To which it will realize it's grave mistake, unwrap itself, then unplug itself from the wall ending it's own life.

 

[shogun32]

To which it will realize it's grave mistake, unwrap itself, then unplug itself from the wall ending it's own life.

I can see it now, a 3 minute segment during the 30 minute info-mercial where a teary-eyed Total Gym confesses that its actions were an outgrowth of being sweated on by human lard for interminable days with no improvement, and that the trauma and depression led to a PTSD episode. But that the kind words and personalized encouragement video from Chuck and wifey helped it to have renewed faith in humanity and that one day it too would be the proud TG standing beside the next buff success story. And then they all hug and stare out into the sun setting over the ocean from Chuck's deck.

Total Gym lives matter too!

 

[HoosierDaddy]

To which it will realize it's grave mistake, unwrap itself, then unplug itself from the wall ending it's own life.

No, I think Chuck wants to be cremated.

 

[Questortapes74]

“That’ll learn ‘em,” will be the last statement you make as you are hauled off in handcuffs to jail for taking a sledgehammer to your boss’s car; because you were upset that you were asked to refill the printer with paper, and it’s not in your job description.

 

[lacanteen]

Silly Putty implies the existence of serious putty.

 

[lacanteen]

Given you shouldn't 'keep your eggs in one basket', the scrotum seems like a real design oversight.

 

[Sivi70980]

Sitting at my new to me desk at work and there's a clock right next to it. I'm now bombarded by the ticking every second that goes by. It's not making the morning go by any faster.

 

[shogun32]

Sitting at my new to me desk at work and there's a clock right next to it. I'm now bombarded by the ticking every second that goes by. It's not making the morning go by any faster.

a little double-sided tape and presto mount it on the bathroom wall.

 

[Questortapes74]

So back when I was a child the character in the photo was called a clown, but apparently this term has changed to “recreational therapist.” Anyway, the other day I went to my son’s school before heading into work and the fella was there laughing and popping balloons for the school party that day. As I headed into work, a sign at the office entrance said, “team building seminar today in lieu of lunch hour.” Well low and behold the lil’ fella was building teams by laughing and popping balloons. As I was leaving work my wife texted me a “honey do list before coming home”. Text said, “check on grandpa at the nursing home and withdraw $150 from the bank for the weekend.” I headed to nursing home and heard a lot of laughter and a loud pop! Well there that fella was in the nursing home activity room. As I finally headed to the bank, I was waiting in line to see the bank teller, and I heard such a laughter that I couldn’t help but laugh myself. It was the same fella leaving the bank. I had to stop him and ask, “hey fella why you laugh”? His response was, “I made $4,500 today for laughing and popping balloons and will be doing this all next week and the next and the next and...” When I finally got home, I cried.

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