Random thoughts.......................

[lacanteen]

It's interesting how quickly 'too drunk to cook a frozen pizza' can become 'sober enough to fight a fire'.

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[lacanteen]

Some people wake up feeling like a million bucks. Me? I wake up feeling like insufficient funds.

 

[lacanteen]

Somewhere, at some point, a married pair of auctioneers have had an amazing argument.

 

[lacanteen]

It’s an unspoken law that whenever a giant boulder is barreling towards someone in a movie, they have to run in a straight line instead of getting out of the way.

 

[1emglenn]

It’s an unspoken law that whenever a giant boulder is barreling towards someone in a movie, they have to run in a straight line instead of getting out of the way.

Reminds me of one day when I was golfing. I hooked my drive pretty bad and as I watched it I noticed there was a guy working on the palm trees. I yelled "Fore" and instead of just getting behind a tree he took off running. The ball was tracking him like it was laser-locked. Luckily for him another palm tree saved him.

 

[1emglenn]

In horror movies no matter how fast you run, the slow plodding of the villain is always going to catch you.

 

[lacanteen]

it is perfectly fine to eat fries with ketchup but an absolute hate crime to put ketchup on mashed potatoes.

 

[lacanteen]

Hyperlinks on most websites are blue and turn purple after you've read them. Put more simply: Blue + Read = Purple.

 

[lacanteen]

No one ever announces when it is in fact, their first rodeo.

 

[lacanteen]

Seems awfully suspicious that melting frozen yogurt does not give you yogurt.

 

[lacanteen]

Starting a shift at 5:00 sucks, regardless of which 5:00 it is.

 

[lacanteen]

Dating a famous singer would come with the fear that you are always 1 mistake away from becoming a billboard top 100.

 

[lacanteen]

It’s not ALWAYS in the last place you look. Sometimes it magically appears in the first place you looked after you tell your wife, ‘nah it’s definitely not there’.

 

[Bugs]

What does a missile silo and an Alaskan outhouse have in common?
They both contain IC BMs.

 

[lacanteen]

The most empowering thing about living by yourself is being the unchallenged Lord of the thermostat.

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