Random thoughts.......................

[lacanteen]

People say “Kiss my ass” as a bad thing but every ass-kiss I’ve been a part of has been great experience.

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[lacanteen]

Exercising would be so much more rewarding if calories screamed when you burn them.

 

[lacanteen]

One often overlooked but very important aspects of evolution is that our arms are exactly long enough for us to wipe our own ass.

 

[jtmat]

Man, just not my week, cant get my new guitar in tune, FPL is flying drones over my house and now after living here for 6 years they are in the process of clearing the empty lot behind me to build a house, should I move?

No, don't move... but get into the habit of locking your car door. I've read they are building a halfway house (facility) at that location.

That is why they are flying drones... get used to it.

Your guitar is scared since it is something easily taken and pawned.

 

[lacanteen]

Why does my crock pot have an IP address but I still have to sit alone at a red light at 3:00 AM for 2 minutes?

 

[lacanteen]

You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun she's probably angry.

 

[Interceptor]

Fine!
Nevermind!
Whatever!
I'll be ready in 5 minutes

 

[lacanteen]

USB sounds like a backup plan in case the USA fails.

 

[lacanteen]

Hydrogen is super flammable. Oxygen is an accelerant. Together they form a liquid that's really good at putting out fires.

 

[lacanteen]

They should have a “this one sucks” return pile for shopping carts.

 

[lacanteen]

The bigger your shoes the bigger your manhood, the bigger your car the smaller your manhood. No wonder people are so afraid of clowns.

 

[lacanteen]

Vanilla is universally associated with "plain" despite being its own unique flavor.

 

[lacanteen]

Public bathrooms have hands free flushing, soap, water, and paper towels… so why don’t most of them have hands free doors?

 

[lacanteen]

Somewhere in the world there is someone who just threw their yogurt container in the sink and the spoon in the trash.

 

[lacanteen]

That sound of something falling inside the cupboard you just closed? That's the sound of someone else's problem.

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