Random thoughts.......................

[HoosierDaddy]

95% of all relationship problems could be avoided if you could rewind the last 10 seconds of what you just said, and try again.

I used to believe that.....

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[lacanteen]

When reading resumes, begin by throwing half of them away. You don’t want to hire people with bad luck.

 

[lacanteen]

Passing out is essentially an emergency nap

 

[lacanteen]

“Middle of the night water” tastes so much better than regular water.

 

[Ock]

Everytime i bend over my feet itch...

 

[lacanteen]

It’s very possible that your childhood friend (or even lifelong friend) was completely determined by a seating chart in grade school.

 

[lacanteen]

A clever person like you would never be swayed by flattery.

 

[HoosierDaddy]

A clever person like you would never be swayed by flattery.

True, but please keep trying.

 

[lacanteen]

Johnson & Johnson could have 2 dicks as their logo.

 

[HoosierDaddy]

Johnson & Johnson could have 2 dicks as their logo.

Their name is not Johnson PLUS Johnson. Johnson AND Johnson is still 1 Johnson/dick.

 

[lacanteen]

BIC makes the two most stolen items on the planet.

 

[lacanteen]

Let’s take a moment to appreciate all the days in between now and the last time you slammed your shin into a trailer hitch.

 

[lacanteen]

It’s only a gambling addiction if you keep losing, otherwise it’s a high paying hobby.

 

[lacanteen]

Secretly stealing the can-opener from your friend’s doomsday bunker would be the greatest practical joke of all time.

 

[lacanteen]

Before you publicly claim your millions from a lottery win, ask your friends and family if you can borrow $20.

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