Random thoughts.......................

[lacanteen]

I'm an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

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[lacanteen]

I don't want to sleep like a baby; I want to sleep like my cat.

 

[lacanteen]

Never laugh at or criticize your wife's choices. You're one of them.

 

[Vlad Soare]

Never laugh at or criticize your wife's choices. You're one of them.

What do you mean? That's the best reason to laugh at her choices. If I'm the best she could do...

 

[lacanteen]

I would have thought that the thing in my house with the most cat hair would be my cat.

 

[lacanteen]

Yep, I'm a practitioner of western medicine. (an alcoholic)

 

[lacanteen]

Dating is about wondering why someone is single, then figuring it out.

 

[Joe Gonsalves]

Traffic is always inversely proportional to the urgency you need to arrive.

 

[lacanteen]

I just heard this morning that October is breast cancer awareness month. I’m willing to perform free exams to any female needing assistance free of charge. It’s just my way of giving back to my community.

 

[HoosierDaddy]

I just heard this morning that October is breast cancer awareness month. I’m willing to perform free exams to any female needing assistance free of charge. It’s just my way of giving back to my community.

How inspiring! I'm going to match your contribution.

 

[CrazyHippie]

We all have them. Now we can share them. Try to avoid any political poking.
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> Lasagna is basically a spaghetti flavored cake.

> I feel like being thirsty and having to pee should cancel each other out.

> If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip's Screwdriver?

Aren't we fortunate that God put our noses over our mouths instead of elsewhere?

 

[lacanteen]

Why are all smoke alarms programmed to need battery replacement at 2 AM?

 

[lacanteen]

I think God's next test for me should be "can he handle a ridiculous amount of money?"

 

[HoosierDaddy]

I think God's next test for me should be "can he handle a ridiculous amount of money?"

Followed immediately by: How about a rematch?

 

[lacanteen]

Life seems to be a constant balancing act wondering why you weren't invited to something and wondering how to get out of it.

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