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lacanteen

lacanteen

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Removing ashtrays from cars didn't stop people from smoking. It just made them throw their butts out the window.
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lacanteen

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The hardest thing to believe in spy films is when someone asks for the account number and they have it memorized.
 
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lacanteen

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With the amount of people that are lactose intolerant, it’s almost like we were never meant to drink cow milk.
 

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With the amount of people that are lactose intolerant, it’s almost like we were never meant to drink cow milk.
That reminds me, gotta take my pill….
 
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lacanteen

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Minivans probably have sliding doors so that kids don’t hit other cars.
 

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lacanteen

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The lightbulb was such a great idea that it became a symbol for a great idea.
 
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lacanteen

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Side hustles are not hustles, they're just badly paid overtime.
 
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lacanteen

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In police procedural shows a famous guest star is nearly always the guilty one.
 
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The ultimate biological weapon is stupid people.
 

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Pro tip: Drinking a lot of water before you nap can serve as a natural alarm clock.
 
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The only difference between a collector and a hoarder is a theme.
 
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At some point others stopped congratulating you when you pooped. At some point, that’s likely to begin again.
 
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lacanteen

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Peter Piper couldn’t have picked a peck of pickled peppers since peppers are pickled after they are picked.
 
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lacanteen

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People laugh at strange animal mating rituals, but nothing is as hilarious as what some humans do to try to attract a mate.
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