Random thoughts.......................

[lacanteen]

Maybe women hate cargo shorts because they reveal the tactical inferiority of purses.

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[lacanteen]

One of the most infuriating feelings known to man is being told to do something right before you were gonna do it.

 

[lacanteen]

One of the most common dashed hopes has to be driving up to an empty parking spot but finding a small car in it.

 

[lacanteen]

Expensive paintings are basically just trading cards for the rich.

 

[key01]

The teeth on a hedge trimmer were designed to be the exact width of an extension cord.

 

[lacanteen]

Putting groceries in the freezer is like Tetris, but taking them out is like Jenga.

 

[oneheadlite]

...when the wife picks up a broom, never ask her;
when you get back, will you make me a samwich..................

 

[lacanteen]

Had my prostrate examination yesterday. It's the last time I'll ever take a nap at the airport.

 

[lacanteen]

You know you’re getting old when you start going to bed at the same hour you used to go out.

 

[lacanteen]

The purpose of a lock is to turn a door into a wall.

 

[lacanteen]

Hard shell tacos survive the factory, delivery trucks and the store but break as soon as you put something inside them.

 

[lacanteen]

Losing track of your kid when shopping is pretty bad, but even worse if you’ve named your son Marco.

 

[lacanteen]

Humans seem to be the only species with reservations about having sex in public. Every other species on earth just does it whenever the opportunity presents itself.

 

[lacanteen]

If snails are so slow why don't we ever see them arriving? It's always...BOOM!.........there's a snail.

 

[HoosierDaddy]

If snails are so slow why don't we ever see them arriving? It's always...BOOM!.........there's a snail.

That's because human visual acuity is more like a T-Rex than a V-Raptor. If snails were pack hunters you wouldn't stand a chance because they move too slow for you to notice.

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