Random thoughts.......................

[lacanteen]

Oddly enough, most people associate “silent but deadly” with farts instead of murderous mimes.

Sponsored

 

[Justpassingas]

If you give a woman an inch….she probably won’t be calling you back

 

[lacanteen]

Getting a song stuck in your head wouldn't be so bad if it was the whole song instead of a 6 second loop.

 

[HoosierDaddy]

Thanks to a breakthrough new schizophrenia drug, I'm changing my pronouns from them/they to he/him.

 

[lacanteen]

The middle ground between “sea” and “land” is “sand”.

 

[lacanteen]

Every day, thousands of people are happy because their checked luggage came out first.

 

[lacanteen]

Dates are job interviews for our genitals.

 

[lacanteen]

Financial stability is buying gas before the light comes on.

 

[lacanteen]

He who drinks a fifth on the fourth, may not be able to go forth on the fifth.
-anon

 

[lacanteen]

Maybe women hate cargo shorts because they reveal the tactical inferiority of purses.

 

[lacanteen]

One of the most infuriating feelings known to man is being told to do something right before you were gonna do it.

 

[lacanteen]

One of the most common dashed hopes has to be driving up to an empty parking spot but finding a small car in it.

 

[lacanteen]

Expensive paintings are basically just trading cards for the rich.

 

[key01]

The teeth on a hedge trimmer were designed to be the exact width of an extension cord.

 

[lacanteen]

Putting groceries in the freezer is like Tetris, but taking them out is like Jenga.

Sponsored