Random thoughts.......................

[samd1351]

the side that increases the C-suite's stock option valuation and quarterly profit reports to Wall St. They'll screw both parties as hard as they can get away with.

^This^ I had this happen with Farm Bureau years ago. The gal across the street backed out and hit our mini van (should've let the damn thing die right there - maroon Voyager with faux wood paneling down the side). Our insurance agent was super helpful until they got the police report with both parties having Farm Bureau. After that, it was a PITA to get it repaired.

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[lacanteen]

Can a drunk Cyclops see double?

 

[lacanteen]

A one night stand could be a 6 month relationship if you're above the arctic circle.

 

[TexasMetallic5.0]

I have one that's puzzled me lately. Why do we feed wild animals? Not debating whether we should, just questioning the concept. Could you imagine? Imagine being a wild animal where everyday of your life is fending for your own food and this other random animal comes up to you and offers you food. Take it a step further and say you accept the food and then this other animal just starts stroking your head in random ways. It has to be the most awkward, bizarre, experience for them haha.

It’s like handing them an EBT card.

 

[TexasMetallic5.0]

Stick-on wheel weights are good revenge for people who can’t park correctly.

 

[HoosierDaddy]

Stick-on wheel weights are good revenge for people who can’t park correctly.

Thanks. Since remote entry became so common, been looking a long time for a replacement to breaking toothpicks off in the locks

 

[1emglenn]

CDC now says that we can have small gatherings of up to 8 people without issues.... I don't know 8 people without issues.

 

[1emglenn]

Every weeknight they say "Here's Jimmy Kimmel Live." Does anyone know if his dead show is better?

 

[lacanteen]

If we ever arm teachers with guns, teachers going on strike could be a lot more interesting.

 

[lacanteen]

It would be much useful to get new teeth at 40 rather than when you are 10.

 

[lacanteen]

Adulthood is like the vet, and we’re all dogs that were excited for the car ride until we realized where we were going.

 

[lacanteen]

People in Switzerland must have a hard time finding first aid kits.

 

[Sivi70980]

People in Switzerland must have a hard time finding first aid kits.

Actually asked myself “why” when I read this. <sigh> good morning.

 

[dpAtlanta]

Every weeknight they say "Here's Jimmy Kimmel Live." Does anyone know if his dead show is better?

He shoves his political agenda down the viewers throat… he is “dead” to me now…!!!
He was entertaining on “The Man Show”… but when he began to spew his political hatred, I buried that piece of shit “comedian “ in the ground.
I don’t turn on comedy for a one sided political lecture!
He used to be a great entertainer… not any more!

 

[lacanteen]

I must have an amazing butt. Every time I walk away from someone they always whisper "What an ass"

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