Random thoughts.......................

[lacanteen]

I saw a very attractive woman at McDonalds spank her child for throwing his fries on the ground, so I made sure she saw me throw mine on the ground too.

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[Sivi70980]

I saw a very attractive woman at McDonalds spank her child for throwing his fries on the ground, so I made sure she saw me throw mine on the ground too.

And.....

 

[shogun32]

And.....

she slowly poured the cup of (ice?) coffee into his lap. Batted her eyes and leaning forward just enough to tease a view down her blouse, said "Oh honey, is your chaperone still in the bathroom"? Before sashaying back to her table, rounded hips swaying in seductive rhythm. Meanwhile his chest rose and fell in short gasps at the pain in his groin, knuckles white with tension. His lips curled back mouthing words of silent condemnation.

edit: hmm maybe I should take up writing those "romance novels" for more income.

 

[Questortapes74]

I was at the local big box toy store last week to pick up a gift for my nephew, and some youngster bumped into me and snarled, “Word old man.” So I handed him a Scrabble board game.

 

[oneheadlite]

Sitting at my new to me desk at work and there's a clock right next to it. I'm now bombarded by the ticking every second that goes by. It's not making the morning go by any faster.

HA!! ^^^THIS^^^
When I was a teenager I could sleep thru anything.
One time when I worked the third shift, a tree trimming
outfit ran a chipper outside my bedroom for 4 hours.
I NEVER even heard it!!

Now @66, the clock on the wall in the living room annoys me..........

 

[lacanteen]

The irony of the Dunning-Kruger effect is that most people have just read the Wikipedia entry about it and think they’re experts at spotting it in other people.

 

[lacanteen]

The fact they we can have 'casual sex' implies the existence of rated professional sex.

 

[Interceptor]

Maybe the professional sex workers could have 1 to 5 star tattoos on their back. Then customers could take a sharpie and check their rating.
Not sure how to leave comments.

 

[lacanteen]

Considering the amount of Magic Mushrooms Mario uses, all of his video games are most likely just really epic trips.

 

[Sivi70980]

It wasn't till my 3rd viewing but Guns Akimbo might be my new favorite movie. It's not that good but it just gets me for some reason.

 

[lacanteen]

My friends keep talking about what they're going to do when they retire. I'm reasonably sure I'll be working at least until lunch on the day of my funeral.

 

[GeorgeC]

We all have them. Now we can share them. Try to avoid any political poking.
****************************************************************************

> Lasagna is basically a spaghetti flavored cake.

> I feel like being thirsty and having to pee should cancel each other out.

> If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip's Screwdriver?

How come there are Interstate highways in Hawaii. What other state can you drive too from there. Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets you know that flight was coming to a bad end.

 

[Sivi70980]

It seems like every year I have to scroll the birthday year that much farther to find mine.

 

[lacanteen]

Pancakes are weird. We mix together unborn chickens, cow baby food, and grass, squish it into flat circles, then pour tree blood all over it.

 

[lacanteen]

I'm currently on my second guardian angel. The first one is now in therapy.

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