Random thoughts.......................

[lacanteen]

I taught a guy how to fish and he made lemonade. WTH?

Sponsored

 

[lacanteen]

You know how some people wake up feeling like a million bucks? I'm usually NSF.

 

[lacanteen]

A day without alcohol probably wouldn't kill me but why risk it?

 

[lacanteen]

One of my favorite lies that I tell myself is that a blueberry muffin is much more nutritious than a chocolate chip muffin.

 

[lacanteen]

If you choke to death on an ice cube no one will know how you died.

 

[lacanteen]

Your car will never make 'that noise' for the mechanic. Your car is like "That's our special noise. I only make it for you."

 

[lacanteen]

I don't need a recipe for disaster, I usually eyeball it.

 

[HoosierDaddy]

I don't need a recipe for disaster, I usually eyeball it.

I can even screw up a disaster. So, I always measure twice.

 

[lacanteen]

People say that 60 is the new 40. The cop that pulled me over didn't think so.

 

[lacanteen]

Life is like a helicopter. I don't know how to operate a helicopter.

 

[lacanteen]

There are days where I expect my horoscope to read "Just don't kill anyone today."

 

[lacanteen]

You ever spell a word so bad the even auto correct says "dude, you on your own."

 

[Vlad Soare]

You ever spell a word so bad the even auto correct says "dude, you on your own."

No, but my GPS did tell me once, "in two hundred meters pull over, I want to get out of here".

 

[1emglenn]

No, but my GPS did tell me once, "in two hundred meters pull over, I want to get out of here".

My nannies in my other car are always telling me that I'm about to have an accident. They've not been right even
once.

 

[lacanteen]

Am I the only one dumbstruck when seeing a spoiler on the back of a front wheel drive car?

Sponsored