Random thoughts.......................

[lacanteen]

Dogs prepare you for children, while cats train you for teenagers.

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[lacanteen]

If the tin man didn’t have a heart, and the scarecrow didn’t have a brain, then the cowardly lion likely had no balls.

 

[lacanteen]

I'm so glad I learned the definition of plethora. It means a lot.

 

[lacanteen]

Nobody smiles harder than a foreigner who has no idea what you just said.

 

[compprep]

Oyster crackers don't have any part of an oyster in them.

 

[lacanteen]

Smoking will kill you, bacon will kill you, but smoking bacon cures it.

 

[lacanteen]

You never notice how much your head weighs until you’re resting it on your sleeping dog.

 

[lacanteen]

There's nothing quite like an automatic door that won't open to make you question your existence.

 

[1emglenn]

Why do they put a handle on the outside of a push door?

 

[HoosierDaddy]

Why do they put a handle on the outside of a push door?

To prank you. Just like restaurants asking you if Pepsi is okay if you order Coke (or vice versa) when all restaurants have both. Or when I say things like that.

 

[lacanteen]

Irony: The Titanic traveled on water, was powered by water vapor and was sunk by frozen water.

 

[lacanteen]

Babies don't know dreams aren't real, so they must think they have some crazy adventures with you every day.

 

[RagmopInKona]

Waiting for wife to goto bed, so I can wrap her gifts.
It's only 10:30 pm here but she normally is long since gone to bed and asleep. Oh, and I can't find any scotch tape here. elmer's glue stick will have to do.
Please note, I asked the wife if we needed any, "nope, we have some " . lies, I tell ya, lies.

 

[lacanteen]

I hate it when I see some old person, then realize that I went to high school with them.

 

[HoosierDaddy]

I hate it when I see some old person, then realize that I went to high school with them.

You told me it was when you realized you used to babysit them.

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