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lacanteen

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You never notice how much your head weighs until you’re resting it on your sleeping dog.
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lacanteen

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There's nothing quite like an automatic door that won't open to make you question your existence.
 

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Why do they put a handle on the outside of a push door?
 

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Why do they put a handle on the outside of a push door?
To prank you. Just like restaurants asking you if Pepsi is okay if you order Coke (or vice versa) when all restaurants have both. Or when I say things like that.
 
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lacanteen

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Irony: The Titanic traveled on water, was powered by water vapor and was sunk by frozen water.
 

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lacanteen

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Babies don't know dreams aren't real, so they must think they have some crazy adventures with you every day.
 

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Waiting for wife to goto bed, so I can wrap her gifts.
It's only 10:30 pm here but she normally is long since gone to bed and asleep. Oh, and I can't find any scotch tape here. elmer's glue stick will have to do.
Please note, I asked the wife if we needed any, "nope, we have some " . lies, I tell ya, lies.
 
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lacanteen

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I hate it when I see some old person, then realize that I went to high school with them.
 

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I hate it when I see some old person, then realize that I went to high school with them.
You told me it was when you realized you used to babysit them.
 
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lacanteen

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Home is where you know exactly how far to turn the knob to get a perfect temperature shower.
 

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lacanteen

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People often talk about leaving a better planet for our children but don't think about leaving better children for our planet.
 
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lacanteen

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Waking up in the morning sometimes feels like resuming a shitty movie you decided to quit watching.
 
 




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