Favorite Cheesey joke?

[Balr14]

These carpenters are working on a building. Guy on third floor yells down to a guy on the ground that he needs a handsaw. Guy on ground yells back "I can't hear you"!

So, guy on third floor points to his eye (I), points to his knee (need) and makes a sawing motion for handsaw.

Guy on ground drops his pants and starts jerking off.

Guy on third floor gets irate and runs downstairs and yells at guy on ground "What the hell are you doing"?

Guy on ground says "I was trying to tell you I'm coming"!

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[Balr14]

Old couple from Nebraska are driving down old Route 66 on vacation and stop at an old fashioned full service gas station. Gas attendant notices their license plate and asks where they are from in Nebraska. The old man says "We're from Omaha". Wife who is hard of hearing asks what he said, so the old man tells her.

After the attendant finishes pumping their gas, he goes to driver's window to collect the money and he says "I have to say the worst sex I ever had in my life was with a girl I met in Nebraska years ago"! Wife asks what he said again. Old man tells her "He thinks he might know you"!

 

[lacanteen]

 

[lacanteen]

The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He explains, “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa.”
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00.”
This catches the blonde’s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?”
The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. “Okay” says the lawyer, “your turn.”
She asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?” The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, “Thank you,” and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, what’s the answer?” Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

 

[lacanteen]

 

[lacanteen]

“If sex with three people is called threesome and sex with four people is called foursome.
I guess now I know why people call you handsome”

 

[Highoctanecobra]

Dreamt I was a muffler last night, I woke up exhausted.

Did you hear about the guy that stole a calendar? He got 12 months.

What do you call two octopus that look alike? Itenticle.

I stayed up all night wondering what happened to the sun. Then it dawned on me.

I have a cow joke for you, but it’s pasture bed time.

 

[CJJon]

Someone say "Knock-Knock!"

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