MEME THREAD 2.0 - NO POLITICS OR ANYTHING YOU WOULDNT WANT YOUNG KIDS TO SEE [READ THE WARNING]

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[Paul McWhiskey]

No thanks. I will pass.

 

[CarmeloS]

 

[CarmeloS]

Advice from a Japanese Doctor

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste time on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it’s like saying you extend life of a car by driving faster. Want to live longer? - Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that means they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. - Bottoms up!
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain... very good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How can getting more vegetable be bad?
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around.
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is also a shape!
Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
Finally, the Japanese Doctor summed up: Look mister, Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Beer in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride my life was"!!!!!
Eat whatever you like because you will still DIE, don't allow motivational speakers deceive you.
1. The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54.
2. The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57.
3. The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41.
4. The best footballer in the world Maradona died at the age of 60.
BUT
5. The KFC inventor died at 94.
6. Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88.
7. Imagine, cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102.
8. The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake.
9. Hennessey Cognac inventor died at 98.
How did these doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?
The rabbit is always jumping up and down but it lives for only 2 years and the turtle that doesn’t exercise at all, lives 400 years.
So, take some rest, Chill, stay cool, eat, drink and enjoy your life

 

[CarmeloS]

 

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[ShadesOfBloo]

This 3,500 year old tablet was uncovered in 1976 by an archaeologist named J.J. van Dijk.
It's from Iraq, and written in an ancient language called Akkadian.
It includes a bunch of jokes and riddles, and Mr. van Dijk thinks it was written by a young student.

There was a lot that archaeologists translated, and it was still pretty cryptic, but the inscriptions include the topics of sex, politics, and booze.

And they found the world's oldest joke about
ur mom

“…of your mother is by the one who has intercourse with her. What/who is it?”

Unfortunately, because of the tablet's condition, the oldest documented "your mama" joke is incomplete.

 

[Yorkshire_OH]

So hot!

 

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[martinjlm]

Wut up? They call me The Grill…

 

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