Contacting an estranged family member

[HoosierDaddy]

I'm handling my father's estate and he left a sizable inheritance to his 4 grandchildren. But one has been long estranged from the family. I've found a few arrest records for minor offenses that point to him living on the streets. He has/had a Facebook account but hasn't posted anything or responded to any messages for years. Likewise with some other social media accounts.

The family is hoping the inheritance might help turn his life around via a managed trust. One problem is my father's will/trust specifies that beneficiaries who are estranged from the family are excluded. So, ending the estrangement eliminates several potential problems. Not looking to circumvent my father's wishes but the will/trust are many decades old, the estrangement clause was clearly boiler plate and my father and I had checked out rumors about his whereabouts whenever we heard any trying to find him ourselves in the past few years.

Looking for ideas for contacting him preferably face to face. I know there are some LEOs on the forum and maybe civilians who've been in a similar situation.

Done the obvious things like checking jails and wanted to check hospitals and homeless shelters, but there are a LOT and so far many won't/can't facilitate someone finding a person.

Sponsored

 

[JimC]

I have been working in estate/trust administration for many years - first as an estate planning attorney and then as a trust officer for banks since 2002. While you may hope that a sizable inheritance will help him turn his life around, my experience is it ends up hurting the beneficiary in a situation like this.

What are the terms of your father's trust? Even if you decide to distribute to him despite the estrangement language, or find a way around it, if the terms say to distribute outright then you don't have the option to hold it in trust for him; not following the trust terms will violate your fiduciary duty. In fact, ignoring the estrangement language and distributing to him anyway will also violate your fiduciary duty to the other beneficiaries. His share presumably would increase their respective shares so you would be shorting their share of the estate.

While you may see the estrangement clause as "boilerplate" the fact remains that he had ample opportunity to change the language over the years and didn't do so.

 

[HoosierDaddy]

Sorry, but your Nigerian Prince friend already had me wire the money to him for safe keeping.

 

[br_an]

Uncle HoosierDaddy! I'm here to reconnect!

 

[samd1351]

Sorry to hear about the estrangement. My father-in-law is working through something kind of similar. It's a sad situation for sure. Best of luck and hope it works out for you.

 

[Balr14]

What JimC said. If you don't follow the letter of the will, you open yourself up to a lawsuit.

 

[HoosierDaddy]

What JimC said. If you don't follow the letter of the will, you open yourself up to a lawsuit.

I know. The documents are so old they contained mandatory elements that were no longer possible, not to mention beneficiaries who are long dead. It also provides mechanisms for me to make certain changes with or without approval of a majority of the 16 beneficiaries. My attorney generated documents for beneficiaries to concur with some changes already. So far unanimous agreement with the exception of my missing nephew and deceased ones.

 

[HoosierDaddy]

I have been working in estate/trust administration for many years - first as an estate planning attorney and then as a trust officer for banks since 2002. While you may hope that a sizable inheritance will help him turn his life around, my experience is it ends up hurting the beneficiary in a situation like this.

What are the terms of your father's trust? Even if you decide to distribute to him despite the estrangement language, or find a way around it, if the terms say to distribute outright then you don't have the option to hold it in trust for him; not following the trust terms will violate your fiduciary duty. In fact, ignoring the estrangement language and distributing to him anyway will also violate your fiduciary duty to the other beneficiaries. His share presumably would increase their respective shares so you would be shorting their share of the estate.

While you may see the estrangement clause as "boilerplate" the fact remains that he had ample opportunity to change the language over the years and didn't do so.

Thanks. Am aware of all that. The comment about boilerplate was not that it wasn't binding but rather contrary to what my father wanted. Was mentioned because somebody with insight on finding him might withhold that if they thought I was going against my father's wishes.

I believe that to an extent estrangement is in the eye of the beholder(s). He would not receive an inheritance unless it was deemed legal by our attorneys and with any required buy-in by beneficiaries who so far appear to agree with this. FWIW the fact that there are so many beneficiaries minimizes the effect on their share.

 

[JimC]

Thanks. Am aware of all that. The comment about boilerplate was not that it wasn't binding but rather contrary to what my father wanted.

Legally, if it is in the document then it IS what your father wanted. He is presumed to have intended the language when he signed it, and had ample opportunity to change it

 

[HoosierDaddy]

Legally, if it is in the document then it IS what your father wanted. He is presumed to have intended the language when he signed it, and had ample opportunity to change it

Sorry you didn't understand my posts.

 

[wingnutt]

@JimC ...he’s not asking about any of that, he’s looking for help finding someone.

good luck finding the guy @HoosierDaddy

 

[Balr14]

I know. The documents are so old they contained mandatory elements that were no longer possible, not to mention beneficiaries who are long dead. It also provides mechanisms for me to make certain changes with or without approval of a majority of the 16 beneficiaries. My attorney generated documents for beneficiaries to concur with some changes already. So far unanimous agreement with the exception of my missing nephew and deceased ones.

I was in your position when my father died and I made a few family enemies that day. Crappy position to be in. Anyway, to find somebody consider a private detective. I have a daughter that was a PI for many years before she went to work for the government and I was constantly amazed by the people and stuff she could find.

 

[JimC]

To find a missing heir I have had good success and use a company called HeirSearch

https://heirsearch.com/

You can set a budget for how much you are willing to spend if necessary.

 

[Qcman17]

You obviously haven't been looking for me up here in Canada but here I am

Sponsored