Can we have a funny meme thread? (NO POLITICS!)

ShadesOfBloo

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I would only work pt...
I would be a good house wife.
If my ex had done either of those things, she might not be an ex.

But nooo, I would come home from my 8-hour work day that really meant 10 hours out of the house for work, and I'd have to clean up after her. 😠

If I ever hear from her again, and she asks what my girlfriend is like, answers may include
"Gainfully employed."
"Unlike your high school, she makes sure her students can spell their middle names." 😈
"Unlike you, she has more college degrees than ex-husbands."
 
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lacanteen

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HoosierDaddy

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The sad thing here is that signs like this are there because something like this actually happened. 🤢
Impromptu poll:

Raise your hand if you think there is even one person past, present or future who would refrain from doing that because of the sign.

Now raise your hand if you think there is at least one kid somewhere who will see the sign and think "I gotta do that!"
 

Sivi70980

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Impromptu poll:

Raise your hand if you think there is even one person past, present or future who would refrain from doing that because of the sign.

Now raise your hand if you think there is at least one kid somewhere who will see the sign and think "I gotta do that!"
Exactly why we don't put signs up in our bathrooms at work. Someone did once and we needed a hazmat crew to clean up the mess. I work with a bunch of savages though.
 

lacanteen

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OSHA requires us to have one of these kits in every building.

aaaa.jpg
 

lacanteen

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GTBlu

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How to handle the have you had an accident call from that unknow number!

First say yes when the robot asks have you had an accident?

When you get to the real person try this,

when they ask your name say Alfred Kenney, but everyone calls me Alf,

when they ask when did the accident happen, say that the accent happened on the 29 Feb 2019 “if they don’t put the phone keep going”

say you were sat at some lights and the car behind you hit you and you have whip lash and have not worked since

when they ask for your address say 23 Railway Cuttings, East Cheam SM1 2BH “anyone of an age in the UK will know this address as Tony Hancock’s address from Hancock’s half hour, just google Hanckock's half hour and enjoy” if they are still on the line at this point, keep going

just give them some old crap about the car and a number plate

when they ask for an email address say [email protected]so you’re in on the joke just repeat it to yourself and hear to what you’re sayingALFKENNYONEME! Come on think about it!!!

Last, If by now they have not put the phone down get them to read it back to you until they put the phone down!
 

Sivi70980

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OSHA requires us to have one of these kits in every building.

aaaa.jpg
Same. But we simply don't get paid enough nor is that kit enough for the mess that was made in my situation anyway. Grown adults can't reliably flush the toilet where I work lol.
 

Sivi70980

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ShadesOfBloo

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As a friendly reminder......

1624974810675.png
At my work place, the problem is with urinals.
There are ways to use a urinal without splashing, and we have several guys that do everything wrong, starting with standing as far away as they can.
Then, the rest of us would end up standing on a wet floor, and tracking that around the office on our shoes.

When I was the "Building Monitor" I put up signs like this:

Building Monitor is watching.jpg
 

HoosierDaddy

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